Is trying to be happy making us unhappy?
The International Day of Happiness is celebrated around the world on 20 March. This day also marks the annual release of the World Happiness Report. No surprises at the top. Finland’s been there since 2018. Year after year, the Nordic countries continue to lead in the ranking of the world’s happiest nations.
The pursuit of happiness
Our yearning for happiness is universal. But why does this desire to achieve it sometimes make things worse? According to a study led by the University of Toronto (U of T) Scarborough in Canada, the more we try to chase happiness, the less content we actually are, sometimes even having the opposite effect. This phenomenon is called the happiness paradox. The findings were published in the journal ‘Applied Psychology: Health and Well-Being’. The happier we try to be, the more we exhaust our mental energy, particularly willpower and self-control. Depleting mental resources keeps us from doing things that bring happiness. Concentrating on meaningful pursuits and fostering a positive mindset will bring a more authentic and lasting sense of happiness. “The pursuit of happiness is a bit like a snowball effect. You decide to try making yourself feel happier, but then that effort depletes your ability to do the kinds of things that make you happier,” explained study co-author Sam Maglio, marketing professor in the Department of Management at U of T Scarborough, in a news release. “The story here is that the pursuit of happiness costs mental resources. Instead of just going with the flow, you are trying to make yourself feel differently.” The researchers conducted four studies involving more than 1 100 volunteers, most of whom were recruited online. Results showed that individuals who constantly pursued happiness also reported less self-control. In a series of mundane tasks such as eating chocolate that required mental energy and self-regulation, the people who regularly pursued happiness gave up on the tasks sooner than those who were less likely to pursue happiness. Outcomes revealed that pursuing happiness and controlling behaviour vied for the same limited amount of mental energy. Maglio makes clear that the pursuit of happiness isn’t fundamentally pointless. He recommends that people think of happiness like sand on the beach. You can grip a handful of sand, but the harder you try to hold on to it, the more your hand will cramp. That’s when you’ll have no choice but to let the fistful of sand go.
Unlocking the secrets to a happier life
He says to appreciate what we already have. “Just chill. Don’t try to be super happy all the time. Instead of trying to get more stuff you want, look at what you already have and just accept it as something that gives you happiness.” So instead of constantly striving for complete happiness, acknowledging our current emotions and being grateful for what we already have will result in better well-being. Just let go of the idea of perfect bliss, and learn to appreciate daily pursuits and the inevitable ups and downs.
Keywords
happy, happiness, unhappy, willpower, self-control, mental, mental energy